The Village of Women Who Mother

Several years ago when my then teenage daughter’s ears were clogged with adolescent defensiveness, my attempts to “reach” her with sound advice fell on deaf ears. After expressing frustration to my sister, she offered to take my daughter to a coffee shop “just to catch up.” My sister’s attempt to reach into my daughter’s heart via a cup of coffee worked. Afterwards, my daughter’s willingness to open up to more enlightenment was such a relief for me.  I was so grateful for my sister and her relationship with my daughter.

Bearing children is not the only prerequisite for being a mom, and the impact of “other” mothers can be profound. Any woman who offers a maternal guiding touch based in love is to be celebrated today. Many women step in and out of our lives providing appliques of love to our life stories. They matter. The notations of other mothers provide a plethora of footnotes in our journey.  The wonder of universal motherhood can begin with an infant who is rocked to sleep by the willing arms of woman who provides renewed energy for a fussy baby. A childcare provider who band-aids the scraped knee of a toddler while wiping away big tears gives definition to the experience of healing.

I remember when my daughter was in first grade and had such a hard time being away from me. Her teacher hugged her each day as she entered the classroom. My little one’s tears lasted almost to Christmas, yet this teacher’s motherly and tireless encouragement bridged an important phase of growth for my daughter so that the beginning seeds of independence could sprout. And then there was my soccer-playing son who traveled to a multitude of tournaments with other families whose mothers made sure he brought his shin guards and water bottle to the field. These moments mean something.

Adoptive mothers are heroes. In choosing their children, they give someone the opportunity to feel safe, secure and loved. My mother was adopted at the age of 5, and the lasting impact of her upbringing will transcend generations because she was given a chance to be part of a family. Yet, her first years were spent in a New York City orphanage cared for by Catholic nuns. Although my mom had few memories from these formative years, my mom knew one thing for sure. Those nuns loved her, because she often said she had a knowing in the untapped places of her soul.

Sisters know how different eyes see the same landscape of shared history. They can often provide the opportunity to offer a touch of encouragement or understanding mimicking the love of a mom. Good friends challenge and support by reinforcing the worth of someone who loses their way just like a loving mother would do. Whether from a sister, aunt, neighbor, friend or teacher, I celebrate all women who mother. As we honor and celebrate our own mom’s today, let’s take a moment to remember those women, all women, who’ve left an imprint in our hearts. It really does take a village. I am honored to share this day with all those who give meaning to the definition of Mother. Happy Mother’s Day to each of you!