The Season of Letting Go

As I type, I’m sitting outside as the sun settles the day with the golden glow before dusk. The crickets sing their songs of summer’s end. I can only wonder how much longer my beloved summer will allow me to remain sleeveless and barefoot. Transitions are in the air, especially for parents who are charged with letting go.

For the kindergartner whose little legs stretch to reach the first step up onto the school bus, the parent waves goodbye in hopes the bus driver will take over to help quell 5 year old fears. For other parents who’ve given a generation’s worth of love and guidance, the car will soon be full with the piles of accumulated things one needs to survive dorm life. After the car is unpacked and the bed is made, it’ll be time to hug and say goodbye. The now empty car ride might just reflect the newfound emptiness in a parent’s heart.

The bookends of school beginnings acknowledge how parents across the spectrum find themselves in the season of letting go. As parents, we set early goals to help prepare our children to be self-sufficient and confident in their own ability to navigate their lives. We teach them how to walk, ride their bikes, solve problems, and work their way through challenges. It seems a never-ending task, and then seemingly without warning, it’s time to let go.

Change is inevitable, yet often times it’s hard to fathom. Parents of two week olds wonder if they will ever sleep again, and then one day they do. Parents of 10 year olds wonder when their kids will simply do homework on their own. Parents of 17 year olds wonder if they will ever stop worrying when the car backs out of the driveway. Yet, all the navigation through various stages of your child’s life means there are a multitude of times we move through in order to move on.

Resetting amidst change reaches far beyond the kindergarten bus or college dorm. Letting go is a lifelong challenge; one few of us can avoid. Change is inevitable. Whether we grieve the loss of loved ones, are forced to accept the reality of change, or are charged with resetting expectations, letting go is simply part of our human experience. In due time, loss inadvertently creates new pathways. However, we need to be gentle with ourselves and allow time to rest in the void. Walking past a quiet bedroom, the empty seat at the dinner table, and the absence of sustaining conversations and routine will make parents’ lives feel very different. Some might describe it as a newfound emptiness.

I remember those feelings of hollowness quite well. I also remember learning to live in the empty spaces for a while with trust that new ways to refill the spirit will be revealed. So, with respect to the vast spectrum of letting go, we have to trust in the possibilities for new space to rise up. Accepting change can be acutely painful, but there is a good lesson to be learned from the kindergartner who makes the big step on to the bus and into the unknown. Even at the age of 5, trust is a good exercise.

I’ll be thinking about all who are setting off to new adventures, and all those who love them. It’s been several years since I’ve sent my children outward in hope. Now, they’re encouraging their own kids to explore the world. As I await the sun to set on this day, it’s good to know that same sun will rise again tomorrow.

 Photo by Annie V on Unsplash