Donuts for Dinner? Why Not.
I picked up three of my grandchildren from school, and to satisfy their after school snack cravings I took them to the nearby Bill’s Donut Shop. For those of you familiar with Centerville, Ohio, you know Bill’s is the place for donuts. The case display was filled with every donut variety you could imagine. I was tempted to sample each one, but I know myself. Once I get started with donuts, it turns into a big a problem. For me, donuts qualify as an all-out addiction.
While my little ones were pondering whether they wanted a Halloween colored sprinkle donut or a caramel iced twist, a woman walked in with a little girl who looked to be around 5 or 6. She wore the same school uniform as my grandchildren which made us all a bit extra friendly with one another. Her mom wore medical scrubs which made me think she must have just come from work. Or, perhaps her shift was yet to begin. Her daughter and my grandchildren acknowledged one another. Uniforms have a way of unifying.
As all the kids were deciding on their selection, I said to the young mom, “It’s a great day for a donut!”
The young mom chuckled awkwardly. “It’s one of those days,” she said caressing her daughter’s messy pony tail. “I think this is probably dinner for us,” she added, raising her eyes to meet mine. I saw the fatigue. I wondered if this was a single mom whose work and parent loads were squeezing upon the other.
I sensed her weariness and recognized the “one of those days” feeling. There was a time I was a young mom and the expectation to have it all together at all times was a big ask. Moms with growing children probably have many days when they feel energy waning yet need to somehow dig deep so that the needs of her family remain met. Inherent in the mission of motherhood is the pressure we moms put on ourselves to have it all together all the time. From early morning rise-and-shines to bedtime stories, from juggling schedules to making sure permission slips are signed and returned on time, the tasks of motherhood can, some days, be overwhelming. On those days, one might find herself at Bill’s Donuts for dinner.
As my grandkids wiped the black and orange sprinkles from their cheeks (Halloween decorated donuts for the win), we got up to move on with our afternoon. As we walked towards the exit door, I turned towards the young mom.
“Be kind to yourself today,” I said. I tried to load my words with compassion. “Sometimes donuts for dinner is a good thing.”
She looked at me with bit of surprise. “Thanks,” she said. “I needed to hear that.”
My grandkids and I made our way outside to the brilliant light offered to us by the cloudless Fall sky. I said a silent prayer for the mom in hopes she could allow herself a bit of grace while having donuts for dinner. Don’t we all love breakfast for dinner? I hoped she could soften her expectation of today’s default to donuts, and could reset this day towards a new tomorrow. And if the young daughter’s excitement in choosing her donut was any indication, this dinner might just have been perfect.
Photo by Kobby Mendez on Unsplash