Double Wishes For My Amelia
Our oldest granddaughter turned 10. Double digits. It’s a big deal. She now has pierced ears, carries lip gloss in her pink furry crossbody purse, and has already perfected the “rolling of the eyes,” if you know what I mean.
If you knew Amelia like I do, you’d say she is pretty spectacular. Yes, she’s fun-loving and loves Taylor Swift, but she’s already experienced profound grief with the loss of her dear friend, Iris to cancer. Such heart ache is confusing for a little girl. It’s hard for any of us to process the senseless loss of a loved one, but Amelia inspires us with examples of how she’s navigated her grief. She wrote letters to Iris, trusting her friend would receive her messages of friendship through the heavens. And when my adult son lost his dear friend to cancer, it was Amelia’s note to him saying she “understands” that felt most healing for my son, because she did. Already, she’s learning how to show up for others.
Amelia is well adjusted with friends, but it was just a couple of years ago when her family relocated to a different state. Moving away from what you’ve always known is hard; very hard for a little girl so vested in neighborhood sleepovers and play dates at the pool. No 8-year-old chooses to leave comfort; none of us do. However, I saw her resilience take form, and I witnessed a cultivation of self-assuredness that she continues to foster.
During these formative pre-teen years, life can become a bit more complicated. Confusing body changes, the allure of social media, and pressures from superficial societal expectations can be tricky to navigate. Also, life experiences expand causing more profound emotions. In a perfect world of loving support and acceptance, we’d all like to protect children from grief, isolation or pain. When you add the unkindness of peers and lack of understanding from narrow minded others, life can feel hard especially for those so young. All it takes is for one insensitive encounter to deflate a balloon of tender confidence.
As a grandmother, my vantage point is to just love and tell my grandkids how great they are. I don’t care about their report cards. I mean, I do, because it just gives me an opportunity to hug them and tell them how proud I am regardless of the letter grades. I don’t care if their sports team makes it to the tournament. I love to sit on the sidelines and cheer, even when a 5-year-old grandchild kicks a goal for the opposing team. I just want them to be happy and healthy in all ways, including the ability to care for themselves.
As we linger in celebration for Amelia’s big day, I’d like to light one more candle for her. But this time, as grandmother prerogative, I get to make the wish. As I inhale a very deep breath, I wish for my Amelia to remain aware from the inside out. Her insides are quite capable of sifting through the frivolous stuff that often clutters the outside for many pre-teens. There is so much to learn and experience in this big life. I hope she will continue to be a sponge in life-giving ways in how she opens her heart and mind.
Struggle is inevitable. Amelia has already navigated some challenges. She is a strong, empathetic and compassionate young girl. We all know more trials will come her way. They always do. I’m not worried. Double digits mean double power, and in this case, aged 10 means a double dose of pretty great things. Stay confident, dear Amelia. I’ve got my pom-poms ready if you ever need some double speak from your greatest cheerleader.